“What if you could immortalize your tricks and share them with the world?,” a real badass voice asks in a promotional clip on Youtube called “Kickass skateboarding (since now)” and expands: “Wouldn’t that be kick ass…!?”
It’s a clip promoting the Syrmo Smart Pad, a product that claims to be for “for all those that had a second of glory that deserves to be eternal”. The new tech gadget comes in shape of a riser pad. It’s got a built-in motion sensor which enables you to track board movement, measure ollie hight, distance travelled etc. The producers tout their smart pad lets you review your skating stats in a corresponding app and share your session on social media, “analyse tricks and improve them, beat rankings, beat your friends or other skaters and level up your position in the rankings, challenge friends to beat your records, choose new skateboarding routes and many more”.
»For all those that had a second of glory that deserves to be eternal« – Syrmo press release
Now, I might be old and not the target group (though roughly about as old as one of the dudes skating in the clip), but frankly, I don’t know if that’s really what skateboarders want (despite the claim it was designed and tested with “in collaboration with real skaters”. It even says in the promotional email “skateboarding is a sport that has barely changed in its 50-year history” – but for a reason! Doesn’t skateboarding offer enough challengs as it is? Is the official stack-of-boards-meter not enough measuring anymore? Does anyone really want to sit down and interpret their session on their smart phone to improve skills, let alone outrival his mates or random internet trolls? A bit of healthy trash talk in a game of SKATE will do us, right? Plus, chances are, if you’re even riding riser pads, you’re some hesh dude, slashing and slappying away carefree and are even less likely to give a fuck.
Well, to end this with another quote from the clip: “The skateboard is dead. Long live the skateboard” – up to you guys, you be the judge.